Monday, May 12, 2014

Oh the Romantical Times We'll Have

In less than 48 hours, I'll be hauling my ass out of bed at zero-dark-thirty and traveling to the crescent city for the RT Booklover's Convention. I'll be hanging with fans, friends and sazeracs, so if you want to catch me, I look like this...

Please refrain from peeing on me in the gutter, I'm only bringing one suitcase so I'll likely have to wear those urine-fresh clothes to the book fair. Honestly, I can't tell you how excited I am, NOT because I enjoy going to panels (though I hope you do, because I'd love to see you all at mine), NOT because I'm a fan of vampire balls or group activities, but because for the last several RTs I've been out of action and that time away has turned me into a goddamn hermit.


Here's where you come in! If you're attending the RT Booklover's Convention, when you register you'll be given a bag to carry around all the beads you get from flashing your tits or snootch or whatever it is you'll inevitably show the drunken frat boy (don't worry he won't remember and his pictures always turn out blurry), but deep in that bag you'll find this badboy...

A group of my writer buds and I have banded together (like flotsam after a devastating cruise ship disaster) and are doing an awesome ass promo! Each of those circles represents a flashy pin that upon request you may scavenge from the author. Collect them all and you could win a Kindle Fire HDX (that's the best kind!). Just follow the directions and then point yourself toward the bar, you're certain to find one of us there (if not all)!!!


Okay, so obviously we won't always be in the bar, but I'll be...places. 

Make sure you're following me on twitter: @mark_henry and/or on my Facebook personal page for updates, inappropriate pictures and generally snarky, unruly behavior!

Monday, May 05, 2014

Balustrade Is Out NOW!!!

Pick up the first novella in my new Carnal Staircase trilogy for just $2.99!

I've brought you snarky zombies with great clothes and terrible luck (BEACH BLANKET BLOODBATH), dead girls with chips on their shoulders (VELVETEEN) and the romantic entanglements of demonic liver wranglers (PARTS & WRECK) but now, I'm getting serious.


BALUSTRADE, the first novella in my new SUPER SEXY erotic trilogy is out today! Trust, this bitch is a scorcher, a very dark entry into the erotica genre. A couple on the skids attends a therapeutic retreat that turns out to be anything but. If you like your reads HOTTER THAN HELL with a healthy does of KINK, then...get the to a 

Here's the synopsis!

A couple on the verge of divorce begrudgingly agree to an unorthodox marital retreat. Despite warnings and portents, Hilary and Jack travel to the remote Washington scablands, braving a strange religious demonstration to arrive at Balustrade, an oddly voyeuristic couples program.

Under the tutelage of Chantal, a harsh mistress, and Ludo, a brooding sex surrogate, the couple find their most intimate relations under discomfiting scrutiny. The therapy is ritualistic, sensual, wearing away their inhibitions to lush, orgiastic ends. For a while, Hilary luxuriates in a slippery, sensual descent into wickedness. But when time begins to disintegrate in dream-like fugues, sexual awakening takes a turn for the sinister.

Clandestine cabals whisper behind closed doors. Robed figures congregate in the dark cavern at the apex of the strange building’s courtyard.

Nothing is quite as it seems. And a question looms…

Is it the intention of Chantal and Balustrade to help mend their failing marriage or are their minds and bodies being groomed for more sinister, carnal purposes? Hilary must strive to unlock the secrets behind Balustrade before it pushes her to the brink of insanity and ignites her darkest urges.

Friday, May 02, 2014

Cover Artist for Hire!

So with the cover release of L.C. Holden's ARE YOU MINE, I officially entered the ring as a cover designer for hire. Previously, I'd created covers for my own books, seen here...

But L.C. Holden was my first commission and thus will always occupy a special place in my heart. Sexy, no?

So, with that. I'm open to take a few projects from either authors, publishers or what have you. I'm currently planning on offering a package that includes a cover (with multiple sizes) and a free Facebook cover photo ad splash, like this one...

My aesthetic favors dark/sensual tones but I work closely with authors/publishers to create a unique representation of the material that will reach a maximum readership. Clients can expect a quick turnaround time and up to two drafts with multiple finish/color options. 

Pricing (subject to change):
  • Consult is free of charge
  • Custom E-book only (multiple sizes): $150
  • Createspace Flat (includes digital E-book cover): $300
  • Facebook Cover Photo Ad Splash: Included
  • Social Media Avi: Included 

Thursday, April 24, 2014

I'll Tumbl For Ya

I've succumbed to the call of the Tumblr. I don't know why. I'm not certain of its purpose. Though it does seem to be easily fed by other social networking sites and vice versa. So, feel free to follow me at...Snark, Smarm and Smart Cocktails!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Hangin' at Bitten by Books, Givin' Away the Shiz

I'm still in celebration mode over the return of my zombie socialite, Amanda Feral, and the release of BEACH BLANKET BLOODBATH, so I'll be at Bitten by Books today, chatting like a crazy person. Head on over there! Unless you hate FREE STUFF.

There'll be videos, readings and a chance to win gift cards and a copy of PARTS and WRECK! Click here to have fun!

Monday, April 07, 2014

Beach Blanket Bloodbath Hits Da Skreets!

Beach Blanket Bloodbath is book 4 in the Amanda Feral, Zombie Socialite series! But a fantastic starting point for readers who are new to the world as it sets up a brand new and exciting story arc! A great choice for fans of horror-comedies such as Shaun of the Dead and Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil!


Here's the dillio: 
Zombie socialite, Amanda Feral, and her undead friends, Wendy and Gil, shamble into an idyllic seaside village for an event promoting Amanda's memoir, HAPPY HOUR OF THE DAMNED and, as usual, to get some rest, relaxation and consume cute coastal townsfolk. As is their unique luck, plans are derailed when they become embroiled in a gory mystery at the Miss Sand Flea Pageant. Beset with perky, sinister go-go dancers, the inevitable wereshark attack and an annoying octogenarian writer, Amanda must, once again, take time out of her busy schedule of critique and ridicule to solve the crime and save a local bookseller from ruin.
And a reading from Chapter one of Beach Blanket Bloodbath!

Buy it now at the following online retailers...

Saturday, March 29, 2014

April News Roundup of Amazingtude

It's been a while since I blogged/brought y'all up to date on my comings and goings. So, naturally, I keep putting it off and putting it off until I have a metric ton of shit to say!

First and foremost, my debut indie urban fantasy-comedy novella and the long-awaited return of Amanda Feral, BEACH BLANKET BLOODBATH is DONE! PDF copies of the uncorrected galley are circulating and if you're a blogger/reviewer that cross-posts to Amazon just email and let me know if you want in on the snarky zombie bitch thing.

The book releases on April 7th in all the eFormats so be on the look out!

To celebrate, I'm throwing a big-ass Facebook party with 16, count 'em, SIXTEEN, very special author guests, each leading a chat, doing a giveaway. There'll be games, barrels of undiluted and deftly aged snark, and my biggest giveaway yet (given that I don't do big giveaways!). Books, Amazon/B&N/Kobo/IBooks gift cards and for the big prize, a brand-spanking new Kindle!

You don't want to miss it. Here's the invite!

If you're local to the Seattle area, I'll be one of the featured authors at this year's Romance Extravaganza in Redmond. There'll be panels, a book fair and later we'll make out. I'm certain I'll be talking a lot about my very first paranormal romantic comedy, PARTS & WRECK, and its forthcoming sequel, COLD HANDS, WARM PARTS. Here's the deets:

The Romance Extravaganza – New Trends in Publishing Panel
Saturday, April 26th, 11am – 2pm
Redmond Library, 15990 NE 85th St. Redmond 98052
MY panel will be from 1-2pm, but you should plan to be there by 11:45am for the book signing at noon. There's a panel before the book-signing, too.

One more thing!

I announced in a very roundabout way that, in addition to BEACH BLANKET BLOODBATH, I'd be revealing the synopsis and cover of my first paranormal erotica novella, BALUSTRADE (May 5th)! I'm pretty sure that'll coincide with the Big-Ass Facebook party, so GET. ON. THAT.


I think that's it.