Revenge of the Monster Blog

Now, where was I?

Saturday, I think. The big day. Book fair. 300 or so authors lined up behind tables like buffet selections. The day started off like the previous three: coffee downstairs, checking email, chatting with Kim and Guy, who were the other early risers in the UF bunch. The authors were asked to set up at 10:00 for the 11:00 event, so I showed up at 9:45. I was a little excited and not just for the signing but to meet all my lj peeps.

I found my spot, which was primo, Megan Hart and Kim Harrison. How much does that rock? I had like 20 or so books stacked up and waiting for me at my spot and the overwhelming feeling that they'd be there at the end, too. I set up my stuff and went off in search of trouble.


Looks like I found some and a photographer with a grudge (do I not look gassy?--ladies and gentleman, I present the worst photo of me that I didn't intentionally mean to be wretched--thanks Chris!). Caitlin and Marjorie are no doubt trouble makers. Just look what Marjorie can do...


Awesome, right? It's THE CLAW. She's like quadruple jointed, I think. The whole table gasped when she pulled that talent out of her bag of tricks. After that, I couldn't stop asking her to show it to me. What can I say, I'm a freak.

I even got interviewed on camera (not sure by who)...


They were very nice and whether I ever see the spot or not, I'll always have the evidence to prove it.

I took some shots of everyone at their spots, but Jocelynn already posted all of those, so here's a couple she missed.

Jennifer Estep...


Who's so cute, I just want to squeeze her. And here's Patrice Michelle...


Who's totally gorgeous and has more books than me in front of her (I can't help but think she arranged it that way to wittle away my self esteem). I'll get you Patrice!

The five minute warning rang out over the crowd and I stumbled back to my seat, bumping such luminaries as Cheryl Holt and Leigh Greenwood. I think I even yelled, "Outta my way!!!"

The doors opened and we were swamped with readers. I sold out of my stash in less than an hour and spent the rest of the time apologizing and collecting addresses to send signed bookplates. But for me, the main event didn't happen until Plague Carrier #1 and Todd arrived.


There's Missy (PC#1) and I chatting with Kim Harrison. And here's...


Todd catching up with Richelle. Missy even made me a shirt, which I model in this next shot...


It has a "Hello My Name WAS" image on the front, with a handwritten font that says "Patient Zero." On the back is a cover picture of Happy Hour. I was ecstatic, needless to say. We set up a time to meet with the rest of the LJ group who wandered over throughout the rest of the three hour fair. Who, you ask? sadieloree, brian_ohio (oh yes people, he has a face and not just one big cyclops like we all assumed), sakibebe, reneesweet, and macbeaner (who directed our food choices in the days leading up to the fair, thanks lady! Primanti's was awesome).

You know who else was there?


Ms. Stacia Kane. With so many people stopping by, how could I not set up this shrine (courtesy of Todd) and it got the attention, I can tell you.

At about 1:45 there was a blackout. Like so...


Which I thought was awesome. I was talking to Caitlin and Jeaniene at the time and got this amazing shot in the dark...


Weird, right? It's like instinct for those two (or maybe Barry was behind me). My own picture would have turned out looking like a complete fucktard.

After the lights, I got into the line for the cash registers. Do you think I could go to a place with all those books and not spend 5 times the amount I made in royalties? It's impossible. I've got some giveaways (signed, of course) coming up in various spots over the next month or so. Then it was off to lunch and cocktails with this pack of fine folks...


Great time and steak salads with fries on top. In fact, everything in Pittsburgh was served with fries on top--I worry about their sex industry. August Henry's was the hang (no relation) with the $5 Long Island Ice Teas, so thank the good Barry for that. I got some shots of the peeps...


Who were so nice, I'm probably going to have to stalk and kill them--I mean become bffs with them. That's what I mean. Not kill them. No killing. Killing is bad.

Anyway, lunch was way too short and we ended up racing back to the Hilton parting ways with new friends and snarking the hell out of the cover model mangeant. I got separated from the regular group and ended up in the back row with Miriam, Jeaniene, Rachel and Jocelynn, just ahead of us were Patrice and, I'd later learn, the Rebel Girls of Romance, Liz Maverick and Marianne Mancusi.


Jocelynn and I must never sit together again because I coudn't resist making fun of the models, particularly the one that expressed his romantic nature through "pomes." I also couldn't hold back on finishing descriptions with "in the ass."

Like so...

Madeline clawed at Victor's chest; their passion threatened to consume them...in the ass.

You get the picture. The rest was like I said in my live blog from the event. Crazy. Seriously, cover models acting out the actual covers. I nearly peed myself. God bless 'em.

I don't know that I have anything else for you. We ended the night with more cocktails than should be consumed on another publishing house's dime and the week with more friends than when it began. I met tons of people, booksellers, librarians, reviewers, bloggers, writers and most importantly readers (though I think everyone there fit into that category).

Can't wait for next year in Orlando. We're going to have to add in a second week just to see the sights.

Comments

Arwen said…
I swear. If I lose my job because my manager catches me reading your blog, I will eat your brains. No really!

I was looking for RT gossip about a cover model gone wild and ran across your blog. I'm hurting from holding back my laughter.

Now I must go by your book. That's all there is to it. Anyone this funny in a blog must write fabulous books, right?

Right?

sigh. I'll just have to buy it and see, won't I? Danged authors...
Mark said…
Hey Arwen,

Thanks for swinging by anyway. Maybe the book can keep you company on the unemployment line, eh?

Best,
Mark
Arwen said…
ACK! Buy. I meant "buy" your book. Sigh. If I can't spell... EYE ROLL! But I came back to day just to see what other hysterical things you might have to say!