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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

A Tragic Development

The Jesus Experiment has come to a horrifying end. Last night, I went to check on our savior's progress since the addition of warm water to the equation. What I found was so shocking, so horrific, that I can't guarantee you'll leave this post with your sanity intact.

Alas...



I'm afraid this holey ghost is all that's left of Grow Jesus. A squishy gelatinous stain on the water. I fear for the state of my Jesusness. What will become of my holiday spirit?

I have suspicions.

Did the diabolical urgings of my so-called "friend," Matt, lead to Grow Jesus's early demise? Or is this horror a message from God? Is he so angry with the success of The Golden Compass that he's raining down damnation on our garden tub? Already, the prilgrims are gathering in our frozen front yard. Waiting.

I'm afraid they're misguided, there's no vision of God, here. But, wait...why are they all wearing black robes? What are they doing with that goat?

Evil lives here, now.



See? Pray for me, friends. Pray for my very soul, and send checks.

3 comments:

Jaye Wells said...

I think this is the little-known eighth sign of the apocalypse. Repent now, ye sinners.

Joe said...

And the Golden Compass didn't even open that big!

Mark said...

Will the horrors never cease?