I have to thank Karen Taylor
Second, last night on Last Comic Standing, Ralph Harris beat out (that's out, not off) Doug Benson and the British Grillz guy in the head to head challenge, sending my boy Doug home. What the F**k? Harris was the least funny of the three. Now, my only hope for a funny champion lies with Ms. Amy Schumer. She may be a watered down Sarah Silverman, but I love her just the same. Let's get to know her:
Get to know Amy Schumer
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Today is day ten of the monstrously restrictive Atkin's induction diet, wherein I consume nothing but eggs. Joking. Meats, veggies, too. And lots o' the Diet Coke. I've gone to the gym nine days out of those ten and I'm elated to report a 12 pound weight loss!
A count 'em. 12.
Today is also the day that the copy edited manuscript is supposed to grace my threshold via the friendly Fed Ex delivery dude. That should be fun.
And if that weren't enough...
Today is the day in which we'll have couch. It should be delivered between 11:00 and noon. Can you imagine telling your boss that. I'll have those invoices you requested sometime after 1:00 but before 3:00, you'll be in your office, right? Not f**king likely.
Anyway, if that's still not enough for ya. I've got something to share, but that's comin' later.