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Sunday, August 12, 2007

A Street of Blah

Because we're lazy pieces of crap, my wife and I blew off our oh-so important writing (her school paper, my super secret project--shut up, I can have one) and ventured onto the highway of death to visit the Seattle Street of Dreams (which is in Monroe, a good hour away). We enjoyed the hell out of the 2006 SoD, lazing the day away in 10,000 square foot mansions, pretending to take a crap while watching the TV's in the bathroom mirrors, lounging in Hollywood-style media rooms, warming our hands by backyard firepits that give The Mirage in Vegas a run for the money, and of course, cringing in horror at insane listing prices. These are plenty of reasons to desire a repeat adventure; so why not brave the freeway construction and gridlock on a Sunday morning?

Why not?

Here's why: last years Street of Dreams was awesome. Seven real dream houses and priced to match, multi-million dollar homes. This year's were like a 1000 square feet bigger than our own, and sitting on a lot the size of a 7-Eleven. They had interesting details, but certainly weren't dream homes. Yet, and this is a BIG yet, the prices hadn't changed. In one year, those houses went from 10000 sf to 4000 sf and the prices had not changed. Disturbing, and not the least bit fun at $18 a person for two less houses.

But.

All was not lost. For, as we left the street, and came up to the bus to the parking lot, I noticed that our driver could be this woman's identical twin:


That's right. Tammy Faye Messner--moment of silence, God rest her soul, and all that. This woman was either TF's biggest fan paying homage with huge brushstrokes of cheap cosmetics, or Tammy had crawled from the grave, put on a few pounds and taken up Sunday driving in an off-duty school bus. Either way, we were messnerized, couldn't take our eyes off that huge rearview mirror, it was like a white trash art gallery with huge button earrings.

Fantastic, and well worth the drive on it's own.

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