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Friday, August 24, 2007

Step into the Confessional

On the radio, the other day, the call-in topic was confessions. Things you should have done, seen, read, etc. It started me thinking about my own "should list". What should I have tried? I mean by this point in my life the list couldn't be that long.

Or could it?

Here's my confession...

1. I've never read Kurt Vonnegut. (I actually picked up Cat's Cradle the other day, so that's close)
2. I've never tried Ethiopian food. (Doesn't it have a lot of vinegar, or something?)
3. I've never seen Miracle on 34th Street. (Should I have? I only just recently saw It's A Wonderful Life)
4. I've never skateboarded. (I'm pretty sure this would be the last thing I ever did, Skiing nearly killed me)
5. I've never been in a fist fight. (Though Fight Club made it look plenty appealing)
6. I've never been to Mexico. (I've been to 48 states, out of 50, though, not North Dakota, or Minnesota)
7. I've never liked Star Wars. (I've seen them all, but wasn't impressed)
8. I've never bought a country CD. (Despite a fondness for Dolly Parton's personality, I can't stand the simpering warble of it. And tell me this, why do people who don't come from the south, sing in that twangy accent? It drives me nuts)

That's enough. Oh wait...one more thing...the title of yesterday's post was supposed to be "She Made Me Cry (in my pants)". Now, I meant piss, but when my wife read it she said, "that's dirty, no one wants to think about your semen." She's a perv. I love my pervy wife!

What do you have to confess?

2 comments:

Joe said...

1) Never read Harry Potter.
2) Never played the tables in Vegas.
3) Never loved Monty Python.
4) Never watched an entire pro football game (excluding the Superbowl).
5) Never fucked a stranger in the ass.

Mark said...

Never?

How can you be sure?

Probably just as well.

Right now, I'm sitting at the dining room table (the office is cock blocking my plot).

Outside, the neighbor kid is, literally, screaming about getting AIDS. At the top of his lungs. His friends are badgering him to "shut up". I'm assuming they're trying to silence the truth. He got the AIDS from Hairy Pooter.

I could be wrong.