Home Dentistry for Comma Tards

I just got back from the dentist, where I was told I had no cavities. Count 'em: Zip. However, they said that my stress level was translating into jaw clenching and I'd need a night guard. I said sure, whatever. So I'm settling up with the insurance lady and she goes: "Your insurance doesn't cover the nightguard, so we'll give you the discount." She drums her fingers on the number pad, prints and hands me the invoice.

Mouth guard = $220!

So here's what I said, "That's okay, for $220 I can buy a lot of cotton balls."

*wipes hands of teeth clenching*

It'd be cheaper to get a prescription for Valium. Mmmm Valium.

Anyway, tonight I'm back to the copy-edit grindstone. Which sounds like a ton of work, when it's not really. All I'm doing is going over all the little red marks and erasing the ones I don't agree with. I haven't found one yet. Of course, there are like 5000 red marks, so I'll be over here knocking on wood.

Remember, I'm a comma tard. It doesn't matter that I've read EATS, SHOOTS & LEAVES, when I write they just go in, like breaths. If the red mark is about a comma, then advantage copy editor. Every time.

Here's a little riddle for you:

Mark Henry? Where we're going we don't need Mark Henry.

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:


It sounds familiar, eh?

Lastly, I booked my reservations for New York in November. Finally, I'm going to meet my editor and the marketing people. It'll be fun to meet Jim again, and hopefully I'll have super secret project in a viewable state by then. If I don't someone slap me.

Comments

Joe said…
The Night Guard. Coming soon to a theatre near you. Talk about grind house.

All these 80s horror flick trailers are making me want to return to my true calling, writing horror screenplays. Whattaya say? You know you want to.
Mark said…
I've never made a serious attempt at a screenplay. But I bet I could poop out a better script than Pinata: Survival Island.

So, we'll have to start by playing the high concept game.

Here's one...It's The Beach meets Hellraiser. Two self-proclaimed "skin canvases" go in search of the ultimate body enhancement, and unfortunately, find it.