Answered Prayers

Let's start by congratulating Saaphyri (two "A"s) the first successful graduate of Monique's Charm School (one "A"). Who could have imagined that little missy would come so far. You might remember her abrupt ouster on Flavor of Love. For me? It was like yesterday..

The edges blur and we move into...


Saaphyri has just beat some girl's ass. They are readying for an audience with Flav. Saaphyri is on her knees, hands clasped in tense, childlike prayer.

"God. Please help me not beat this girl's ass again."

The other girl is on the couch, face scrunched up like a cat's anus.

Saaphyri looks her over, asks, "You want some lip chap?"

**room comes back into focus**

She didn't. But, I do.

In last night's reunion special, Saaphyri let the audience in on her latest business venture: her own line of...wait for it...Lip Chap. I want! I want! I want! Me!

If I can't get some Saaphyri Lip Chap, I'd just rather let the damn things crack and bleed. I know you guys are right there with me on that one. If you're interested--and who in their right mind wouldn't be--the specifics are going up on her website.