It's a Jungle Out There!

My backyard has turned into the hill from The Ruins. It's terraced for one, the only mowable surface is a 10 x 10 patch, the rest is pure weed. Sometimes I hear things. I'm scared. Maybe someone else could do it. Is it wrong to hire Labor Ready guys from across the street, rather than going inside? I swear they only pay them minimum wage but charge the customer like $12 an hour. It's horrible. Why would I do that, when I can pay them minimum wage right out of my pocket.

Oh, wait…Is that insensitive? I'm just joking. Of course, I'd provide them with a cold beverage and half a sandwich. I'm not a complete asshole.

Seriously, could someone please deal with my backyard? Please?