It's Mailed!!!

An achievement, in itself–timing in at 3 hours 24 minutes–the manuscript is in the mail, and on its way to Penguin.

Um…but I have a question. Why didn't you people remind me that today was the busiest postal day of the season? You're evil retches that take pleasure from the discomfort of your good friend, that's why. I can only imagine the lines at larger post offices, wrapped around the building like an MC Escher drawing. I'd be so angry, if it weren't for…


Elaine attends Lutefisk dinners at a variety of Washington State Lutheran Churches. The Gig Harbor Lutheran Lutefisk is by far the best, I understand. Sumner Lutheran comes a close second–piquant, I believe is how Elaine put it. In a pinch, this Great Grandmother of twelve will brave the freeways, but only during the day, and travel for the $6.99 Lutefisk at that fine dining establishment, IKEA.

She was at the post office mailing a letter to Sweden. Where else? A faint aroma of briny fish wafted from the paper.

She also had a package to send. I glanced at the address label, she was mailing to "a friend in a nursing home," something Elaine had "made herself." I suspected a dried apple-headed pantyhose doll.

Get this: the package was being mailed to Tacoma, a mere 15 minute drive. Elaine stood in that crazy ass line, rather than drive over to deliver the package to her "friend." Suspicious!

I think we all know the package was a bomb. A great big shriveled apple pantyhose doll bomb, and, isn't that what we're all hoping for, this Christmas?